If you struggle with OCD or anxiety, self-criticism can feel constant. Thoughts like “Why am I like this?”, “I should be able to handle this better,” or “What’s wrong with me?” can become part of your daily inner dialogue. Over time, this harsh self-talk can bring about feelings of shame, fear, and emotional exhaustion.

Rather than judging ourselves for struggling, self-compassion invites us to respond to our pain with patience, love and care. While this practice can feel unnatural at first—especially if your mind has become wired around fear, perfectionism, or self-monitoring—it becomes more natural with practice, and can help your brain get out of anxiety driven loops.

Have you ever noticed how quickly a thought can start to feel like a fact?

One intrusive thought — What if something bad happens?, What if I made a mistake?, What if I’m a bad person? — can spiral into hours of anxiety, reassurance-seeking, overthinking, or compulsive behaviors. And if you’re someone who struggles with anxiety or OCD, you know this experience all too well.

One skill I teach my clients who struggle in this way is something called cognitive defusion.