Navigating The Holidays.

Tools and tips to help you feel supported during this time, from a therapist’s perspective.

The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, warmth, and togetherness. Cue the classic Christmas song “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”… But if this time of year feels stressful, overwhelming, or emotionally complicated for you, you’re far from alone. Many people struggle with family conflict, grief, financial pressure, challenging dynamics, or strained relationships. Even positive plans—travel, gatherings, celebrations—can be overwhelming and put the nervous system into overdrive.

If the holidays feel heavy, please know that there is nothing wrong with you. Your feelings make sense. And there are ways to move through this season with more grounding, support, and compassion for yourself. In this post I will share some somatic resources and boundary setting tips to help you navigate this season.

Why Holiday Stress Can Hit Extra Hard

When you return to old environments or spend time with people who trigger familiar patterns, your nervous system quickly remembers what it felt like to be overwhelmed, dismissed, or misunderstood. Even if you’ve grown, healed, or changed, certain interactions can activate old protective responses.

When your body senses a perceived threat—like conflict, criticism, or emotional tension—it may shift into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode, making it more challenging to stay calm and regulated. If you experience this, I want to encourage you to practice self-compassion- this is a natural and appropriate biological response to perceived threat.

The goal isn’t to eliminate the stress entirely; it’s to support yourself and your body with tools that can help you can stay more regulated, grounded, and connected to your needs.

Somatic Tools to Support Your Nervous System

Somatic practices can help you create a sense of safety in your body. You can try these before, during, or after difficult interactions. I recommend first practicing these in a safe neutral place.

1. Orienting (30–60 seconds)

Look around the room slowly and gently. Let your eyes land on and notice colors, shapes, or objects that feel neutral or pleasant. Orienting tells the nervous system: I’m here, and I’m safe enough in this moment.

2. Deep Exhale Breathing

Try a 4-second inhale, followed by a long 6- or 8-second exhale. The extended exhale activates the parasympathetic nervous system (opposite of fight or flight), signaling safety to your body. Repeat for as long as you need to.

3. The Hand-to-Heart Hold

Place one hand over your heart and the other on your belly. Feel the warmth and weight of your hands. This simple gesture can soothe the vagus nerve and ground your attention back into your body.

4. The “Squeeze and Release” Technique

Gently squeeze your arms, legs, or hands, then release. This offers proprioceptive (body awareness) input that can help you to feel more regulated during heightened moments or after a difficult conversation.

Setting Boundaries Without Guilt

Boundaries are not walls—they are guidelines that protect your energy, emotional well-being, safety and peace. You’re allowed to set boundaries, even during the holidays, and especially when relationships are challenging or unsafe.

Here are a few tips on boundary setting:

1. Keep It Simple

Boundaries don’t have to be elaborate. A simple, direct statement is effective:

• “I’m not available for that conversation.”

• “I’m stepping outside for a few minutes.”

• “I won’t be staying as long today.”

2. Prepare a Plan Ahead of Time

Before seeing family or attending a holiday gathering, identify:

• What you’re okay with

• What you’re not okay with

• What you’ll do if a boundary is crossed

Having a plan helps you stay grounded and honor your needs.

3. Use “Exit Strategies”

If a situation becomes overwhelming, you can take space.

Excuse yourself to the bathroom, step outside, get some air, or take a short walk. Distance can help your body to regulate.

4. You Don’t Have to Explain Your “No”

A boundary is a complete sentence. Over-explaining often leads to feeling overexposed or pulled into negotiation. Keep it brief and compassionate, and stay firm. You don’t owe an explanation.

You’re Allowed to Prioritize Yourself

The holidays can bring up grief, stress, or reminders of painful memories. They can activate old wounds or highlight strained relationships. Your experience is valid—whether you feel joyful, overwhelmed, numb, or somewhere in between. One of the kindest things you can do for yourself this season is to stay connected to yourself, your body and your needs. Give yourself permission to rest. Say no when your energy is low. Create space for relationships and practices that feel nourishing.

You don’t have to “perform” holiday cheer. You only have to show up for yourself with gentleness and honesty.

You deserve a holiday season that feels supportive, grounded, and rooted in your own well-being. And it’s absolutely okay if that looks different from what others expect. 🤍